alochana

yes Gods are crazy

Archive for January 18th, 2009

acedia

with 4 comments

I think I am a fool. A fair case can be made of that, I think. Not in the grandiose sense that most of us fantasize about– like those crusaders for ideas that are ahead of their time etc– no, I think my foolishness is of a far more basic nature. Something that is trivially comprehensible, and hence, possibly the silliest.

A case, as an example illustrating this foolishness, is this incident during my +2. One fine day early in the morning, I felt like skipping the tuition class because I wanted to take a day off from getting drenched in the rain and pushing that stupid moped of mine through the rain for a couple of kilo-meters before even the Sun got up. I did. The next day the lecturer wanted to know why I skipped. He wanted to know if I was ill. I said NO. To this day I am not sure if I answered so because I believed that two wrongs don’t always make a right, or if I was lost in the logical maze that was the way out of the perceived wrongs… whatever I was honest, not in the bragging sort of a way, but in a sheepish way. The lecturer, in what I still consider to be a reaction a load of parsecs away from what would’ve been commensurate with my behaviour, possibly feeling that I was being insubordinate I am sure, told me that it is better that I stop attending the tuition if such were my attitude. I couldn’t figure it out on that day, I don’t fare much better today either. What confounds my sub-social intelligence is that I might be alone in limited company in so far as offering ‘laziness’ as an excuse is concerned, and that too, often. I find it strange that people can cite reasons for most of their actions. Most people, that I know, are irritated when I admit my laziness rather than think of some excuse. And I find it stranger.

I stopped attending that tuition. And that was not the only occasion that I had to give up something for such a reason. I don’t know if I regret that. It was not the last time. I don’t now if I should regret that.

Written by kowsik

January 18, 2009 at 17:21

Posted in cribs, culture, life