alochana

yes Gods are crazy

Archive for April 2007

Bhoogolam

with one comment

What would it look like if the world map was plotted with the area on the map not corresponding to geographical area, but , say, to the number of HIV positive people in that nation?

HIV prevalence

Check out Worldmapper for many other such maps that compare all countries in the world on different parameters.

Written by kowsik

April 8, 2007 at 20:22

Posted in aids, maps

Ankitam

with 2 comments

Intro

Ankit, the dude of dudes who almost became the one with a D, suddenly is showing trends of changing to the lanes of dudelessness (post 1, post 2). This post is for him, hence the title (thanks to his parents for foreseeing this part of his life).

This post begins here

To begin with, had I been Ankit, I would’ve screamed my whateveroff, “what right do you have to…”. I am not, so I will not.

Before elaborating, I will do a favour to all those who fail to see the point of Ankit’s posts and my present post. The point of much of metaphysics is about the pointlessness of human existence and so on and so forth (whatever has replaced this set of words in the modern vocabulary). Our posts are not much different from that: if you have the stomach and the grey matter to take it, “Hi”. If not “!”

Now, Ankit, to business.

Starwars

You haven’t seen Star Wars till the screen has Princess Lea in the Golden Bikini (truth be told, neither have I). You need to hold back your comments on StarWars till then. Only after you watch that scene of cinematic whatever do you have the right to be so emphatic. Till then, “Tone it down!”

Mel Gibson

It’s all about attitude. Let us discuss in detail the case of the movie Braveheart. I saw only the best parts of the movie: Sophie Marceau rules. I am happy. You can borrow that attitude, no probs. I mean, did you really watch the whole movie??? For what??? I mean, “dude!!!!”

Forrest Gump

On a semiacademic note Gump has an IQ of 70, and he lands in bed with Jenny. You and I… you get the point (let’s say we have our shoulders, go on blogging)

Apple

Isn’t it amazing how much thought is needed to explain the acts of the thoughtless?

To all others: I was agreeing with Ankit there.

Cricket

Cricket requires bowling talent and batting technique

I am sure you had Sehwag, Dhoni… on your mind while saying this. Guess it’s all relative anyway

And hey, thanks for switching off the comments.

You forgot one movie though: American Beauty–“there’s so much beauty, it hurts” 😉

Written by kowsik

April 6, 2007 at 04:39

Posted in humour, life

kAraNam

leave a comment »

Gloom engulfed the Gaullish village that never bowed before others. The believers were shouting that this was the beginning of the end: after the gloom, it was the sky that was going to fall. The non-believers were all in the pubs, for them it didn’t matter anymore whether there was an end or not.

“Miracles”, Impedimenta addressed the assembly, “Miracles are what we want, and we want them now. We need Getafix. Not his wisecracks, just his potions.” Half of them agreed about the last bit, the other half let some smile come to their faces remembering the one before it.

Justforkix didn’t understand what all this drama was about. This village had always appeared queer to him, they had always been old-fashioned. “What we need is action”, emphatically he started, only to be interrupted by a deep voice from outside, “but not without any thought.”

“What you need boy, is some history,” Getafix entered chief Vitalstatistix’s house, “before you come to any conclusions about this Great Gaullish Village.”

“Long before you were old enough to follow the happenings of this world, your village was conquered by the Romans just like many other villages in this part of the world. We stopped them, and it was not a one-time affair either. Every time they attacked, we gave them the Gaullish treatment; we never had numbers on our side: technique was our forte. Geriatrix was still young, and a Gaul was as good as a hundred Romans, sometimes it was more than that. At times they attacked just to watch your uncle in action!”

Vitalstatistix’s hands went to those parts of his body that changed significantly since those times. He should start exercising, he realized, fitness has been his problem. And hence the village’s problem. “Impedimenta was not always wrong, though reason wasn’t the reason that I married her for”, his chuckling brought him back from his monlogue.

” There were too many players after the Romans gave-up”, Getafix realized too much detail is a pain while giving a history lesson. “So after 2000 years of chaos most intelligent minds agreed on the English way to sort these things out. This breakthrough was anything but non-Gaullic, but this part of history is best explained by your aunt Impedimenta who was the first person to figure it out.” Before Impedimenta came out of her recollections Getafix picked up again, “The battle still involved projectiles and shields and swords, but the battles themselves would take place only once every four years. The principle contenders for the world order face each other in the event that they now call ‘the Cricket World Cup’! With Gauls like Obelix around, changes like these didn’t matter, we Gauls did what did we always did.”

“Yes, I remember”, Obelix had that dreamy look, “Others used to wonder at things coming at them, ‘how?’; I used ask back, ‘where?’ Those were the days!”

“Then why are we like this now?”, Justforkix was angry, “Losing at something that we never were good at is bad in itself, but losing at things that we excelled in? I say kick these losers out- Wait a minute, if we were so used to cricket, why did I never hear of any good cricket going around in this village?”

“That is where the root of the problem lies.” Getafix was sad, “We do not water our plants but we are angry that there are no trees. And I am not talking about cricket alone.”

Written by kowsik

April 3, 2007 at 06:25

Posted in asterix, cricket, life