alochana

yes Gods are crazy

kshara

with 2 comments

Atlast I know something: Our evolutionary cousins, the Neanderthals, were ‘finished off‘ by freezing climates. That means there was atleast one species on this planet whose extinction is not because of us. The cold got to them before we did.

That brings us to the philosophical question: What would you do if you were the last of the Neanderthals? What would your thoughts be? I don’t mean that you are one of the last few Neanderthals, but that you are the last one. You just watched the last-but-one Neanderthal die. What would you feel? I believe that this is a very sensitive issue. A lot depends on your gender (you are the last Neanderthal remember), and the gender of the Neanderthal who died before you.

Case Ia: The Neanderthal who just died was male

Even when this dude (respect the dead/finished-off) was alive, there wasn’t much hope left anyway, so this death would only make you await the end of the world (what’s left in the world after you’re dead anyway.) I’d like to guess at this point that this Neanderthal would probably be frightened to death (thus robbing cold of one of it’s kills) as he (is it correct to refer to a male Neanderthal as him?) would’ve to face God/Godson/Godmessenger immediately after his death (they are our cousins afterall, so they couldn’t have been intelligent enough not to have a religion.) Sad is his life.

Case Ib: The Neanderthal who just died was a gay male (would it be right to call him homosexual?)

First, if you think that this case is related to the death of a happy person, I envy your innocence. Too bad it won’t last long. Back to you: This Neanderthal’s early independent(euphemism) life can be described in one noun: Euphoria. Then reality will ruin his state of mind, and the rest is too tragic for me to type here. With little error (of whatever consequence), we can imagine that Case Ia follows from hereon for this last Neanderthal.

Case IIa: The Neanderthal who just died was female

This is the mother of all tragedies, even Raj Kapoor would giveup before this. After a brief period of unlimited/uncalled-for sorrow, the Neanderthal realizes that someone needs to be blamed for this whole mess (I’m not talking of the dead body.) God is the Father of everyone/thing, including blame. So he blames God for sometime before realizing what a bore this whole thing is and learns to enjoy his freedom, rather than analyze its causes.

Case IIb: The Neanderthal who just died was a gay female (lesbian should not be used as the origins of that term are strongly ‘she-uman’)

This case is trivial. I doubt if anyone really thinks before saying, “…. even if you were the last person on earth.” When there are only two of you left, and you are of different opposite genders, believe me, you would! So Case IIb can’t exist.

Whatever be your thoughts, I say it’s a hell lot less boring being humans: Neanderthality sounds wierder than humanity.

PS: This article has 17 Neanderthals!

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Written by kowsik

February 21, 2007 at 06:22

Posted in death

2 Responses

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  1. You should not have dismissed case IIb in such an offhand manner for it is brimming with unforeseen possibilities. What if she was a gay female ? How would you have felt. Well, a lot depends upon what was the gender of the Neanderthal who died before her !

    Case Ia : Too bad. Assuming you are not gay and she is gay and he is not gay, you are not going to get anywhere. Doesn’t matter of everyone dies.

    Case Ib : Too bad. If you are not gay and she is and he is you are basically screwed between all the hormonal rush all around.

    Case IIa: Too bad. If you are not gay and she is and she is not what a criminal waste of someone’s talent :)…

    Case IIb: Too bad. For now there is nothing left to look forward to. Just wait for the doomsday. Thats why they say, live life to the fullest for no one knows what tommorrow has in store :).

    Ankit

    February 21, 2007 at 22:52

  2. The last Neanderthal female being gay or not, there is only one way the last Neanderthal male could’ve felt, rest is all intellectual masturbation (would the Neanderthals have done that?)

    kowsik

    February 22, 2007 at 05:14


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